I love your explanations but I’m wondering about the clients with just say 10-15 kilos ( 20 – 30 pounds ) to lose where there really is no emotional reason, they just have a habit of eating or drinking a little too much.
That added to a slowing older metabolic rate and sedentary employment and a really easy life style where “Life is Good.”
These seem to be harder than the people with emotional eating problems that are labeled obese. Would you recommend Direct suggestion work for these people ?
I am at a loss because it seems to be one area where I struggle to get results.
Here are three simple solutions to ending the frustrating struggle with these lackadaisical clients.
1. QUALIFY the client.
How motivated are they to lose the extra weight? On a scale of 1 to 10, how important is it that they lose the weight NOW?
If it’s less than 8 they’re not in enough pain! In this case, I would take them down the “low road.” Ask them to imagine themselves 6 months or a year down the road having made no change. Really let them connect with the pain of the consequences of continuing in this way so they can realize living with a “Life is Good” attitude may be easy but it’s taking them downhill fast!
If THAT doesn’t bring up the motivation to 8 or more, fire them! Be honest. Tell them, “I’m not convinced that you’re sufficiently motivated to be successful using hypnosis. Realize hypnosis isn’t magic – you have to be really motivated to be successful. And I only work with people who I’m confident can be completely successful! Come back when you’re up to a 10!”
If they’re motivation level is an 8 or more, you have plenty of emotion available to work with! What about the PAIN of being FAT? The pain of being out-of-control to food … the struggle with cravings … Ask them how overeating is impacting them in their life. How do they feel when they look in the mirror? Or after pigging out on a binge? Do they have a closet full of clothes that don’t fit? Are there activities they can’t participate in anymore? Places or people they avoid?
As you bring down the negative emotions, replace them with healthier choices – one by one. And compound the “Bee-Jeez-Us” out of these newer, healthier, more empowering behaviors by reinforcing all the benefits.
2. Focus on BABY STEPS.
They already know all the things they should be doing (if they don’t they need to educate themselves!). But one of the things that can sabotage a person’s best intentions is trying to change too much at once. Nothing breeds success like success. So work on one small successful change. If necessary, reduce it to the ridiculous. That will open the door to the next one. And then the next … until the subconscious mind takes over and there is a generalizing effect.
With regards to metabolism – the best way to address metabolic rate is through dietary changes plus DAILY exercise. All it takes is 30 minutes of walking to shift things. Find an activity they love. Remind them of when they were a child and “exercise” was called “PLAY.” Get them enthused with the prospect of m-o-v-i-n-g forward into the vision of being the slim, trim, healthy person they want to be … having fun … feeling proud … and surprised at how easy it was to always make the healthy choice!
Just as you do with smoking cessation clients, be sure to instill a sense of pity for others who haven’t yet made these changes for themselves. And the recognition of how they are depriving themselves of the joyful experience of knowing (and feeling it, too) that “life is good” in a slim, trim, healthy body. Women are usually motivated by fashion choices, e.g. skinny jeans. Men cotton to the idea of being checked out by the women in the skinny jeans! (Rent a clue from Madison Avenue! When you see a pretty girl in a bikini on the beach – women want to BE her, men want to be WITH her! It’s also why they have sexy models at car shows!)
3. Make the client ACCOUNTABLE for taking action.
The conscious mind must be on board for change to be lasting. So at the end of each session elicit a conscious agreement from them about what they’re going to do/not do between sessions.
When a client comes back and reports having FAILED to do/not do – there’s guilt. Often doubt rears it’s ugly head with the thought, “it’s not working.” Recognize the Saboteur when you see it and address it! Reinforce that it’s not the client’s fault. THIS is how the subconscious mind works! They have just bumped into a subconscious objection to change! The process is actually working to surface precisely what’s been getting in their way!
Now you have a choice of how to proceed. You might decide to go with Parts Therapy (bring out the Part that’s sabotaging their vision) … Or tap on all the thoughts and feelings associated with the behaviors that caused them to “fail” … Or you can associate them into the biggest feeling and regress off … Or do all three!
Would I recommend Direct Suggestion work for these people?
Yes. After they start making consistent change. But do not leave your success solely in the hands of a reinforcement CD! Schedule them for monthly follow-up sessions to keep them accountable!
Hypnosis is viewed as a “brief therapy” so we tend to expect to change a lifetime of bad habits in a handful of sessions. That’s not realistic! And the statistics are clear – the long-term success rate of most Weight Loss programs, including hypnosis, is around 5%. I believe that with a little common sense we can do much better than that!
As I understand it, it takes about a year to make a new habit truly permanent. So, wouldn’t it make more sense to do the “brief therapy” to release the emotional blocks, get them on track, and then have a follow-up program to ensure their success over the long-haul?
Accountability works. It’s the basis of virtually every coaching program. Think about it …. If you know you have to check in every 4 – 6 weeks is there an incentive to stay conscious? It’s no secret that the best way to gain control of eating habits is to become CONSCIOUS of your food choices. Here’s a GREAT accountability tool (and it’s free)!
So when the client returns for their follow-up session, if they have done well, they get a reward – a “yummy” relaxation hypnosis session with lots of praise and compounding of good feelings with all the fixin’s (benefits). And a cookie. (just kidding!)
If, for whatever reason, they fell off the wagon, they don’t have to carry the guilt and shame and self-punishment one day longer. Help them face the Saboteur (In the Devil’s Therapy this is the Innkeeper.) Your job is to listen to the “tale of woe” and then provide what is needed to GET BACK ON TRACK!
Regardless of the issue, I believe programs are the way to go, but especially when it comes to weight loss. We have to eat every day. And there is temptation at every turn. Ongoing support is the solution to lasting change. You might consider offering a premium program for your well-heeled clientele and a more modestly priced program for the budget-minded.
Platinum WL Program = Private one-on-one sessions e.g. 4-6 session emotional-healing for the “Change Phase”, and then a 12 month “Maintenance Phase” program.
Group WL Program = e.g. 4-6 week group program (Educate about hypnosis, teach tapping and self-hypnosis, conduct DS/imagery group hypnosis sessions, and encourage group support) plus individual sessions for emotional-healing + 12 month ongoing group Support (DS, tapping). The group support is an important element for many people and bonding has been shown to be important to any healing process.
You can view a diagram of the habit change cycle here.
Hope this was helpful!